Can a Guy and a Girl "Just be Friends"

Is it possible for a guy and a girl to "just be friends?"

I have a few guys who I consider good friends. We see each other at church on Sundays, do things within our homegroups, hang out at parties, and I know that if I ever needed help moving anything, they are just a phone call away. These guys are my friends. Nothing more. So is it possible for guys and girls to "just be friends?" Yes. However, when the question is focused on one guy and one girl whose friendship surpasses that of typical "good friends", the answer gets a little more complicated.

I have this really close guy friend who has known me for almost five years now. We've made tons of memories together, been through both good and bad times, and even dated each other for a while. He's the closest guy friend I've ever had, and he knows more about me than most of my girlfriends. We talk almost every night on the phone, sometimes for hours at a time, and I know that whenever I'm feeling down, I can just give him a call and he'll cheer me up. He can always make me smile. We share prayer requests, talk about life, and wonder about the future God has planned for our lives. In the middle of the workday, he'll send me text messages, telling me to have a wonderful day and reminding me that he's thinking about me. We don't see each other much because we live almost two hours apart, but whenever I visit somewhere close by, he'll always meet up with me to hang out, watch a movie, or just talk.

The weird thing about all of this, is that we ARE just friends. It's nice having a guy friend as a best friend because he sees things in a completely different perspective than my girlfriends. When I'm freaking out about something stupid like what to wear on a first date, he's quick to remind me that, "hey, don't worry about what outfit to wear, you would look good to him no matter what." Hearing something like that from a guy friend is just so much more convincing than if one of my girlfriends had said something similar.

Although I know that we're just friends and nothing more, I have to keep reminding myself of that. Sometimes I hate him for it because some days, I wish we could be more. I know that when and if I meet the right guy for me, I'm not going to talk to my friend as much because I'll be spending my time with the person who is interested in me for more than just friendship. And that's okay, because years down the road, when I'm married and completely in love with my husband, I might come across a newsheading or an old photograph of him and think to myself, hey, I used to know that guy. I'll remember our friendship and the good times we had, and then I'll put the photo aside and make a mental note to add him to my Christmas card list.

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends. Sally Albright: Why not? Harry Burns: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way. Sally Albright: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved. Harry Burns: No you don't. Sally Albright: Yes I do. Harry Burns: No you don't. Sally Albright: Yes I do. Harry Burns: You only think you do. Sally Albright: You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge? Harry Burns: No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you. Sally Albright: They do not. Harry Burns: Do too. Sally Albright: They do not. Harry Burns: Do too. Sally Albright: How do you know? Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her. Sally Albright: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive? Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too. Sally Albright: What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU? Harry Burns: Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story. Sally Albright: Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then. Harry Burns: I guess not. Sally Albright: That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

Harry Burns: Would you like to have dinner?... Just friends. Sally Albright: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends. Harry Burns: When did I say that? Sally Albright: On the ride to New York. Harry Burns: No, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.